ER Channel 4, 10.00pm
Around the World in 80 Treasures BBC2, 9.30pm
SOMETIMES you watch ER and you think: this plot is preposterous.
Then you correct yourself: not preposterous, American. Very, veryAmerican, and surreal to boot.
In Britain, a hospital drama such as Casualty can mine a seam ofstories from the travails of the NHS. The details vary, but theunderlying theme is the struggle to maintain a great, envelopingsocial contract. At Chicago's County General, the contract dependson cash on the nail.
ER's makers clearly have a few righteous concerns about this.They produce what America's conservatives would probably callliberal TV. The point is that the drama's home audience findsnothing strange, far less barbaric, about a drama that takes theirnation's appalling moral health for granted.
Last night we had the usual ER mix of comedy and social concern.First, there was the couple caught in mid-coitus when their car was,as it were, rear-ended ("I'll give you some morphine, " the doctorsaid, "and wait for yourViagra to wear off"). Then came a teenagegirl injured while taking a driving lesson with her father. She hadfelt dizzy, she said. It became clear that something was amiss withher transplanted kidney, an organ donated by her father. Dr Carter(Noah Wyle) began to suspect the anti-seizure drug prescribed wascausing damage. So far, so tragic.
But the back-story, as reviewing nerds call it, was close to aparable of life in the world's most powerful country.
The girl's parents were ordinary folk. The strain of coping withher illness had split them apart. The cost of her treatment hadclaimed their apartment. The father, Gabriel Milner, aching withdecency, was working two jobs just to pay for the marvel drug thatnow, it transpired, was killing her.
The teenager's neurologist was honest and competent. He had oncebeen Carter's student and was surprised to find his old teacherstill working in the ER zoo when there was money to be made inprivate practice.
For his part, he was conducting trials on the antiseizuremedicine in exchange for "a small stipend" from the drug company. Hewas not mendacious, just concerned that Carter should be askingquestions. As was the hospital's administration. There were dollars-20m in grants to its "academic programme" at stake just becauseCarter had posted a few internet inquiries as to the drug's possibleconnection with renal failure.
"A word of friendly advice, " said a colleague, "don't piss offthe money people."
The girl needed another transplant. Her father knew what thechances were and wanted Carter to take his remaining kidney, even ifthat meant condemning himself to a lifetime of dialysis. The heroicdoctor wondered if this was entirely ethical. The father, beyonddesperation, therefore deployed another tool that has done so muchfor American medicine - and blew his brains out. Then they took hiskidney.
As drama, it was all done with ER's customarily stylishefficiency. It might even have changed a few American minds aboutthe evils of "socialised" medicine.
But I watched it almost agog. Don't they think this is bizarre inevery sense of that over-used word? And do they never make aconnection between entertainment, however high-minded, and the worldin which they live? I can read election results as well as the nextman.
"Dark, dusty, ancient and ruinous, " said Dan Cruickshank. "Justhow I like it." He does, too. Our intrepid toff was bearing thetreasured word "golly" along the ancient Silk Route and going behindthe scenes at the astonishing tiled temples of Samarkand.
He was, as always, informative and breathless in equal measure,yet somehow, even while being hustled hilariously by child tradersin Bukhara, he was reminding you of the abiding f law in his series.
When something is stupendously beautiful, you don't really need aBrit in a Panama hat to tell you so.
There are no words adequate to Persepolis, or to a fine Persiancarpet.
Cruickshank rattled on undaunted. I watched the final 10 minuteswith the sound off.
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